307. Why Mothering Matters

“There is no greater good in all the world than motherhood. The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation" (James Faust).

What started as a book project became the podcast's focus in 2025. In today's episode, I share why mothering matters. Together, we uncover the foundational role that maternal figures play in shaping a child's life, weaving personal milestones with professional wisdom to highlight the deep connection between mothering and personal growth.

Chapters

• 0:01 Knowing What You Want
• 17:35 Embracing Motherhood With Purpose

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

A reading from the Magic of Knowing what you Want A Practical Guide to Unearthing the Wisdom of your Desires, by Tracy Gee. Knowing what you want is a process, a relationship, an embodied discovery of what it means for you to thrive when you know what you want. It lights a path toward aliveness and walks you through it. It helps you see who you have been made to be and then guide you to take the steps to become that person. It will remind you time and time again not to fracture yourself to fit in someone else's boxes, that the world is bigger than you give it credit for and that there's room for what you have to bring to it. It will speak to you about abundance. It will teach you how to believe in yourself. Speak to you about abundance. It will teach you how to believe in yourself, maybe more fully than ever before. Knowing what you want will heal you slowly and surely, and it will show you how to explore, dream and learn to trust yourself. When you know what you want, you learn how to create a grounded life, one that is imperfect but that you're absolutely in love with. Tracy says she chose the title the Magic of Knowing what you Want, to honor this knowing and invite you and me, the readers, to experience it too. This knowing forges new, healing ways of relating to ourselves and the world. It helps us lean in here. It helps us unlearn messages from a society that would teach us to distrust ourselves, stay small and forget our power. It shows us that our deepest desires are closer than we think and it shows us how to discover them. This knowing, this deep knowing, I add in your knower exists to help us become more whole. It changes us and it's magical when we learn how to be present to it.

Speaker 1: 2:36

Truly knowing what you want requires both thought and practice. What do you really want, she asks? It's an age-old question, but one that we may never outgrow. Inner and outer transitions can cause this question to come back repeatedly, even if a past version of you had it all figured out. It's a big question what do you really want but one that affects the very smallest elements of our lives. It's a question that's everywhere, but we aren't taught where to go find answers for it, and Tracy writes based on hundreds of conversations she's had with others, as well as living this question out in her own story. What do I really want, she says. It's really a simple question until you try to answer it meaningfully meaningfully.

Speaker 2: 3:49

Hello and welcome to Mothering for the Ages on today's Heart Lift with Janelle. This year we are dedicated to unleashing the power of maternal presence in the world. What started as a book project is now expanding into a full year of conversation with luminaries about the remarkable role of mothering. Be sure to subscribe to Heart Lift Central on Substack and the podcast on heartliftcentralcom. Wherever today finds you, may the words spoken here bring you rays of sunshine and the heart lift you've been looking for.

Speaker 1: 4:21

Hello, hello, heart lifters, and happy new year. I know we're already into the new year, but I have been off in Uruguay, south America, witnessing the beautiful baptism of my Eva Grace and visiting with Elena Rose and my daughter and my son-in-law and his family. Yes, they do now live in Belgium, just to avoid confusion, but they went home for the Christmas holidays to visit Jose's family in Uruguay and decided to have baby Eva baptized in the same beautiful church as Elena Rose had been baptized in, and so Rob and I went to witness this beautiful event. Rob is the godfather and it was just such a beautiful, lovely experience. So I'm a little behind in starting my own new year and you can read more of that over on Heart Lift Central Substack.

Speaker 1: 5:28

Please be sure to subscribe to Substack. There is a free subscription and a paid subscription, if, please. If you have any difficulties navigating Substack because many of you told me you have please reach out to me. You know where to find me and I will help you navigate that, because that's where I'm hanging out, that's where I'm doing a whole lot of writing this year and sharing my heart and going deeper, post-podcast, into the subject matters, and the subjects we're talking about this year are all centering around mothering. Yeah, why, you might ask. Well, I'll give you the short, long story.

Speaker 1: 6:16

For maybe about a decade, this book project on matriarchs and matriarchy has been swirling and twirling its way through my mind, my body and my soul. And then summer of 2023, after some very difficult cases I had been working on in my private private practice at the time, invited me into this passionate, passionate journey of mothering. That's all I can say on that, but it was a very loud invitation that now is the time to bring into fruition what had been swirling and whirling in my life and in my heart and my soul this conversation about mothering and how a childly sincerely, the trajectory of a child's life really is set by that beautiful relationship that a mother can have with a child. Now, you know I work in trauma-informed family, marriage relationships systems, marriage relationships systems, and so I'm going to be working with people that perhaps did not have the best foundation, best intimate relationship. They were not given secure attachment by this primary caregiver, the mother.

Speaker 1: 8:00

And then in my journey, all of a sudden, I become a grandmother, a grandmother to five. So here's the journey for me April 2022, I welcome into the world my first granddaughter, elena, october. A few months later, six to be exact, 2022, I welcome my first grandson, isaac, into the world. And then, in December of 2023, I welcome beautiful second granddaughter, ava Grace. And then, in July of 2024, I welcome in beautiful, beautiful Peter. And then, in God's amazing goodness, we welcome little baby June in September of 2024.

Speaker 1: 9:08

Now, that is an abundance of blessings. Yes, yes, yes, it is. But my children live all over the place Oldest daughter in Belgium, my son's in Kansas, his twin sister is in St Louis. So that involved lots and lots of travel and when it started, firstborn lived in Otagwai. So just to catch you up on my life and the geography of my life, because it all led me to watching my own children become parents and then, specifically, my two daughters become mothers, which led to my journey of transformation and transition from not only mothering but to becoming the matriarch of my family, being that my mother passed in late July of 2020.

Speaker 1: 10:11

So now I have this matriarchal position that I am in, and it is. It is an office. I think it is a posture, a position, a stature, it's something that you move into on this journey of life, and it just all started to come together, and so I started putting on paper this beautiful study. You know, it always starts with a study about what it means to be a matriarch, and I had a podcast guest I'll put the link in the show notes for you to go back and listen if you'd like and pre-recording. She was, like you know, janelle. I love this concept, but, to be honest, I'm not even sure that I understand what it means to be a mother, let alone be a matriarch, because she herself had had a rather complicated relationship with her mother, like I did and like many of you have had, and so it stalled me in a good way and I thought, huh, yeah, I think that's really true, because I don't want to get ahead of the game. I really want to cover the topic completely.

Speaker 1: 11:31

So then I began working around the idea okay, what about the journey like from mothering to matriarch? And then I came up with this mothering for the ages, because when you look up that idiom, it means something timeless. It means something timeless, something that will be remembered forever, and we break that down, and it actually does mean for eternity. So I know that we are committed here in this Heart Lift community to being these women who possess that beautiful mothering, maternal presence and want to make an influence in our spheres right. We want to have that healthy, healthy sense of self, healthy behavior patterns and healthy communication skills, because when we move through life with those three heartbeats that are beating loudly and beautifully, we then become these luminaries, right, luminous people who our light will radiate into everyone around us. That doesn't mean we're perfect, and I will reiterate that a million times. It means we are imperfectly perfect. Million times it means we are imperfectly perfect.

Speaker 1: 12:52

And so, as I began writing and working on this book, I found a portion of scripture that I've used many, many times throughout my life when I've been teaching moms. I've been teaching mamas, oh my goodness, forever, it seems. But I found this ancient promise that I began to build this beautiful prayer around, meditation around, from Isaiah 60, verses 1 through 3. And I loved the voice translation of it. I would like to read this to you as we begin officially this year of focusing on unleashing the power of the maternal presence into the world Arise, shine, for your light has broken through the Eternal. One's brilliance has dawned upon you. See, truly, look carefully.

Speaker 1: 14:05

Darkness blankets the earth. People all over are cloaked in darkness, but God will rise and shine on you. The eternal's bright glory will shine on you, a light for all to see. Nations, north and south, peoples, east and west, will be drawn to your light. They will find purpose and direction by your light, in the radiance of your rising. In the radiance of your rising, you will enlighten the leaders of nations.

Speaker 1: 15:03

I'm going to read this ancient promise for all of us on the journey from mothering to matriarchy, all of us on this journey of mothering for the ages, through all stages and phases, from Isaiah 61 through 3. And I want you to put your name right inside of this blessing, this proclamation Arise, shine, put your name Arise, shine for your light. Your light has broken through the eternal. One's brilliance has dawned upon you, dawned, see, truly, look carefully. Darkness blankets the earth. People all over are cloaked in darkness, but but, but God, your God, heart lifter, will rise and shine upon you. He sees you right now, this very moment. He sees where you are, whether you're in the park, whether you're walking, whether you're in your car, whether you're making dinner, whether you're sitting in a quiet spot. Wherever you are, god sees you. Wherever you are, god sees you. His glory is shining upon you, a light for all to see. That's you A light for all to see. Nations, north and south, peoples, east and west, will be drawn to your light. Father, I pray right now for every heartlifter listening, no matter how dark their world might feel, that right now, a light your light is dawning, dawning upon them. People will be drawn to your light. Hear this. We'll find purpose and direction. By your light and in the radiance of your rising, you will enlighten the leaders of nations.

Speaker 1: 17:35

Isaiah 60, verses 1 through 3. Heartlifter, lean in with me here, listen to this ancient promise, this proclamation, this provocation. It should provoke you unto good works, as we are told through the Apostle Paul, the Eternal One's brilliance. You see, god is brilliant and he wants to share and shine that brilliance upon you. He says see, truly, look carefully, look around you. We can see the darkness that's blanketing the earth. We can see it, but the hope that God gives us is that he will rise and shine. This is our word for this year, for the decades to come, for all the decades that I have left to live. This is my word, I'm putting it in my heart, I'm taking it to heart, I want to memorize it. It says his light will shine. It's affirmative, he will shine on me and he will shine on you, and that light is for everyone in our spheres of influence to see. Nations north, south, east and west are going to see this light. They'll be drawn to your light and people are going to find purpose and direction from that light, yeah. And then he says, in the radiance of your rising, which implies to me that it will be God's brilliance and his radiance and his light coming to us that will enable us then to rise up.

Speaker 1: 19:26

And the whole premise, the whole premise of this book that I've been working on, is a beautiful scripture that is in the book of Judges and it's about Deborah, one of my heroes. We've talked a lot about Deborah here. I'm flipping the pages of my book project to find this magnanimous verse, judges 5, verse 7. Verse Judges 5, verse 7, villagers in Israel would not fight. They held back until I, deborah, arose, until I arose, a mother in Israel. So today we embark. We embark on a journey, a journey that I've been on for a couple years now, if not decades, but it's taken me a while to understand the magic of knowing what I want.

Speaker 1: 20:33

As I read in the beginning of our time together today from Tracy Gee's book Knowing what you Want is a process, a relationship and an embodied discovery of what it means for you to thrive when you know what you want. It lights a path toward aliveness and walks you through it. It helps you see who you have been made to be and then guide you to take the steps to become that person. It will remind you time and time again not to fracture yourself to fit in someone else's boxes in someone else's boxes, that the world is bigger than you give it credit for and that there's room for what you have to bring to it. Knowing what you want will speak to you about abundance. It will teach you how to believe in yourself, maybe more fully than ever before. You will heal slowly but surely, and it will show you how to explore, dream and learn to trust yourself. When you know what you want, you learn how to create a grounded life, one that is imperfect but that you are absolutely in love with. Tracy, I thank you for being the teacher that this student needed to find a grounded life and, as Mary Catherine Bateson writes, in Composing a Life, you have helped me to find my way to my real divine purpose for the years that I have left.

Speaker 1: 22:18

So, heartlifter, welcome, welcome to a year of mothering mothering for the ages, in all stages and phases and welcome to this journey now, where we will frame the work that we have been doing in becoming an emotionally healthy woman with beautiful behavior patterns and strong communication skills and begin applying that into our mothering. Sometimes it's a remothering of our own souls if we perhaps have not been mothered well. Some psychologists call that reparenting. It can be called remothering. We perhaps now are in a stage where we are becoming the matriarch of our families, like I am, and so, of course, I'm going to speak from my needs. That's what authors do, that's what writers do, that's what teachers do. Typically, we research and study things in our lives that we need to bring into fruition, that we need help with. So here I am and hopefully, as I'm helping myself, I will help you.

Speaker 1: 23:28

What I would love from you, if you wouldn't mind, is to send me your questions. I've talked before about Dear Heartlifter. Please just send me your questions. What questions do you have about the maternal presence? Why is it important? Perhaps? Why now? Why, janelle, have you decided to spend a whole year on this subject? What is a matriarch. Ask me, please ask me your questions. I want to know. All the links that you need to find connection with me are in my Instagram at Janelle Rairdon. That's J-A-N-E-L-L-R-A-R-D-O-N, or just put in heartliftcentralcom and you will find everything you need to connect with me. I want to hear from you. That is my earnest desire in 2025 that we begin to be a real community where I'm not just talking at you, I want to talk with you and that's why I'm on Substack and Instagram for us to connect.

Speaker 1: 24:36

Heartlifter, I am going to leave you with this ancient promise, this proclamation from Isaiah 60, 1 through 3. Arise, shine, for your light has broken through. The Eternal One's brilliance has dawned upon you. See, truly, look carefully. Darkness blankets the earth. People all over are cloaked in darkness, but God will rise and shine upon you. The eternal's bright glory will shine on you, a light for all to see. Nations, north and south, east and west, will be drawn to your light. We'll find purpose and direction by your light. In the radiance of your rising heartlifter, you yes, you will enlighten the leaders of nations, of nations.

Speaker 2: 25:54

Thanks for listening today. Today's episode is brought to you in full by Heartlift International, an educational nonprofit dedicated to making home and family the safest, most secure place. Learn how you can support the podcast with your tax-deductible donation at heartliftcentralcom. Please subscribe to the podcast and leave a review, if you would be so kind. Your donation and review help further the work of Heart Lift International. Until next time, Heartlifter, remember you have value, worth and dignity.