Today's Heartlift with Janell
Sometimes the story we tell ourselves is not really true. Sometimes the story others tell about us is not really true. On "Today's Heartlift with Janell," Author, Trauma-informed, board-certified marriage and family specialist, and Professional Heartlifter, Janell Rardon, opens conversations about how emotional health and mental fitness effects absolutely every area of our lives. When we possess and practice healthy, strong, resilient emotional health practices, life is so much better. Read Janell's newest book, "Stronger Every Day: 9 Tools for an Emotionally Healthy You."
Today's Heartlift with Janell
291. Our Unrepeatable Life Matters, Part 2 with Trevor Hudson
What if your life's purpose is not something to be achieved but something to be discovered through love and faithfulness? Join us in a compelling conversation with Trevor Hudson, the acclaimed author of "In Search of God's Will: Discerning a Life of Faithfulness and Purpose." We explore how perceiving God's unconditional love can transform our sense of purpose, guiding us through life's challenges with a deep sense of worth and safety.
Discover how aligning your heart with God through relational intimacy—and not perfectionism—can lead to a life of faithful, meaningful purpose. This episode is an enriching exploration into the beauty of discernment and the irreplaceable gift of walking with God in every moment.
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today's episode is brought to you in full by heartlift international. A 501 c 3 dedicated to making home and family the safest, most secure place on earth. Learn how you can donate and support the podcast at heartliftcentralcom. Now settle in for today's remarkable conversation. Wherever you find yourself today, may these words help you become stronger in every way.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome back to today's Heart Lift with Janelle. I'm Janelle, and this is part two of my inspiring conversation with Trevor Hudson, author of In Search of God's Will Discerning a Life of Faithfulness and Purpose. Trevor is one of my spiritual heroes and this book is deepening my faith and I hope that it will do the same for you. In part one of my conversation with Trevor, he brought two questions to our table. One, what is your picture of God? Because your picture of God will form how you relate to God. And two, when was the last time that you remember really feeling the deep love of God from another person, from nature, from God himself? And I invited you over to HeartLift Central, based on Substack at HeartLift Central, to share your thoughts and ideas with me. I am still inviting you to do that. Don't be afraid of Substack If you're not familiar with it. It's super easy. There is a free subscription. All you have to do is put in your email it doesn't go anywhere but into my system. And there is a paid subscription, a very nominal fee, to support my writing and my work, but also to support this podcast. If you'd like to support the podcast or you can do a small subscription donation through the podcast hosting site, which is Buzzsprout. I'll put all that information in our show notes and I thank you in advance for believing in me, for believing in the podcast and for helping our message go worldwide.
Speaker 2:I want to begin this part two by reading a beautiful part of chapter one in Trevor's new book. He writes I read this profound saying into this world with a special message to deliver, with a special song to sing for others, with a special act of love to bestow and I want to repeat that last phrase with a special act of love to bestow. No one else can speak my message or sing my song or offer my act of love. These are entrusted only to me. Ever since I first read these words, they have warmed my heart. They not only touch me whenever I share them, they resonate with others too. Why is this?
Speaker 2:One significant decision facing us all concerns the way we see our little life in this big universe. This choice is stark. On the one hand, do we see human life as simply random? Are we accidental specks of dust in an ultimately meaningless cosmos? After all, there are over 8 billion of us. How can our one life really matter? On the other hand, does our existence here on earth have a purpose? Is there a unique space in this world where each of our lives is meant to shine? Where each of our lives is meant to shine, do you and I have a specific purpose to fulfill in the years given to us? The bottom line is that we either view our lives as meaningless or as brimming over with more meaning than we can imagine. Let's read that again. Let's read that again. The bottom line is that we either view our lives as meaningless or as brimming over with more meaning than we can imagine. Our ideas about these questions have life-shaping consequences. Early in my 20s this is Trevor talking I read Man's Search for Meaning, written by Jewish psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who spent time in a concentration camp during the Second World War.
Speaker 2:He noticed something during his imprisonment that would shape his life's work. With his clinically trained eye, he observed that there were two groups of prisoners those who just gave in to their horrific circumstances and those who lived through them with dignity and hope. As Frankel studied the second group, he noticed one common characteristic they all had something meaningful to live for. All had something meaningful to live for. In one unforgettable sentence, he underscored that the person who has a why to live for can bear with almost any. How the person who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.
Speaker 2:The astonishingly good news that the Bible gives, as we will soon see, is that God has a personal will for each of us. Because we find this truth so hard to learn by heart, we need to hear it repeatedly. So let me repeat it to you right now. Let me repeat it to you right now you have been desired into existence by a great love. You are meant to be here. You are known by name. You have been a unique God-given meaning. Your unrepeatable life matters. When this good news reverberates in the depths of our soul, our small life takes on an eternal significance in God's great universe. Wow, maybe take a moment and rewind and listen to that over and over and over until it really really sinks into that beautiful, beloved soul of yours.
Speaker 2:Trevor and I pick up in part two talking about how we really need to understand our belovedness. I like to define belovedness as that deep inner sense of knowing that I am seen, heard, known, loved and very, very, very safe and secure in God's unconditional, gracious, merciful Father love. Let's keep that idea of belovedness in the forefront of our minds, that prefrontal cortex, the reasoning center of our brain, that helps us to stay emotionally regulated and grounded and secure and safe. And listen to part two with a more open heart than ever and allow Trevor's kind, gentle Spirit pour into ours. I also think one of the you brought out one of the most important things about belovedness, and then we will definitely move on to discernment, because whoo do we not need that right now is seeing the face of Jesus, so understanding the belovedness that God has for us. You know that we're in his family, we're his children, all of that.
Speaker 2:But I do think for me and my journey on this floor about three years ago, that was hand in hand and I do write about it. Hand in hand and I do write about it. I've researched it because I feel like I definitely had an authoritarian view of God and authoritarian leadership in my life as pastors. Very authoritarian, and I had then. That's how I saw the face of Jesus was authoritarian, telling me what I should think, telling me what I should say, telling me what I should read and do. But that's not Jesus. And so, as you so wisely encouraged us, go through the gospels and ask I love, that's why I love Lexio Divina. Put yourself there, have a spiritual practice, put yourself in a story of Jesus, close your eyes as God is healing you and showing you his love, so that you can really capture that he wasn't authority, but he was so gracious and so loving.
Speaker 3:And you know, if there is someone you know listening to this podcast right now, you know a very simple suggestion Great. The one thing I really appreciate about Jesus so much and I thank him so often for is that. He knew that we think he. You know, the Gospels are imaginative literature. They, you know they're full of stories and parables.
Speaker 2:Visual and sensory.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and I just and there's one verse for me, and I don't want to build my whole theology on one verse, but there is one important verse where Jesus gives us a picture of Abba and it's well known to your, to your hearers in Luke, chapter 15, 20, where the you know, this boy is returning home. And then Jesus just has this one sentence and while he was a long way off, his father saw him. So there's a sense of being seen, yes, and then the verse goes and his heart was filled with compassion. Now, if your heart is filled with something, there is no room for anything else. There's no room for anything else. So his heart is filled with compassion, and then he runs towards him, throws his arms around him he sure does and kisses him, and so you have this. So Jesus is saying I just want to give you a picture of that.
Speaker 2:This is so good.
Speaker 3:The whole being. You know, the divine gaze, the divine heart gaze, the divine heart, the divine feet, the divine embrace and the divine kiss are all characterized by compassion and I think, you know, one can take about five or six years just to let that one sentence oh, I agree, I will now from today on.
Speaker 3:You know just it can become our yardstick for who God is and how God sees us, and I might spend the next few years just saying to the Lord. Lord, will you help me to come to know the reality of this sentence in my own life?
Speaker 2:that's's so good. Yeah, you have challenged me. So in speaking then of that same story, that image, how do I discern the other part of that story? I'm just curious of the other brother.
Speaker 3:Who doesn't come in Right. And the wonderful, did you notice this? The wonderful thing with the older brother, the wonderful thing about the older brother is that the father goes out looking for him when he doesn't arrive at the party. Oh, you know, the father goes out to for him when he doesn't arrive at the party. Oh, you know, the father goes out to look for him, and I find that just so moving.
Speaker 3:I knew I had to ask you. And so you know, for all the elder brothers and sisters watching and listening to this, the father comes looking for us and says please come, please come.
Speaker 2:Probably the same, like I see that face of that prodigal father as the face of Jesus. Right, I see it. So it would be what we call beam gleams, secure attachment, attachment theory. There is such a powerful, there is so much power in a beam gleam. Something comes from the soul, the spirit, in from the eyes to the eyes of the recipient. So is it safe to say, even on a psychological level, like in our bodies, that it was the same beam gleam he gave the same his, his, his whole being was the same, waiting for the prodigal as it was going to find the elder you've sinned better than I could.
Speaker 2:No, but that's just all like coming. I knew I had to ask you that is so powerful, because it was the same presence he offered.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And we can only hope that we can see that in our own lives, in the spirit and really. Then, then I move forward into belovedness, receiving it from God, putting it into self and giving it out to others. Okay, so help us understand this incredibly, seemingly difficult spirit of discernment.
Speaker 3:Boy, it's right on time, trevor, thank you for taking the hours to put this book together. That's a labor. The book is close to my heart, janelle, and it's based, I think, without boring those listening.
Speaker 2:You are not boring us, trevor Hudson. Not in any way shape or form.
Speaker 3:It's rooted in a very, very deep conviction, and that is that, you know, one of the most beautiful metaphors of Scripture for me is we are called by name no-transcript and again and again, the one who calls us by name. So so for me, discernment is lord. How are you calling me by name to live my life at the moment? And discernment would be for me that practice of discerning God's personal will for my life. God has a general will. It's clearly revealed for us in scripture. We don't have to kind of wonder whether we tell the truth or don't tell the truth.
Speaker 3:It's clear, so there's a clarity around God's general will, in which God would like us to live. There is a whole lot of things which are not in the Bible. I don't discover in scripture whether I need to live in South Africa or go be with my daughter in Australia. That is something I have to discern. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Oh, it makes sense. Hello, yes, I have three children all over the world.
Speaker 3:Yes, and you know I'm, you know I'm in my seventies, I'm 73. I'm in a new season of my life, I'm saying goodbye to a lot of things, and so now I'm wondering'm wondering, lord, how are you calling me by name to live in this particular season of my life? I don't get an email from heaven. I don't wish we did. I know so do I, but but somehow God trusts me and trusts me that I that, and for me to recognize the way that God is leading me, so that I can respond to that. And I do that not with a heavy sense of I've got to get it right. Right, that is the furthest thing from my mind. Okay, that I've got to get it right. Yes, I know that as I seek to discern God's way for my life and there are different ways in which I can do that I know that God will lead me, because God, basically, Luke 15, 20,.
Speaker 3:God is basically deep down. This is where our picture of God is so important. God is for me, god is with me and God dwells within me. So God is loving me. So I don't have to get it right and God will be with me as I seek to discern how God is wanting me to live in this moment of my life.
Speaker 2:I love that you put such emphasis. I don't hear this a lot in the moment, at the moment.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:So attune yourself to your calling. Okay, first, align your heart with the heart of God. I feel like you've helped us usher in ways to do that by getting our picture of God, spending time with him, asking him to show us a picture of his love for us. So how would I attune then? I've talked about attunement here on a psychological level, counseling. Perhaps is there a discernment exercise I know that you have many in this book for attunement. Like when I hear attuned to your calling, I will honestly say, trevor, I still feel pressure that I'm going to disappoint God and I don't have many years left. And what if I don't fulfill my calling? Because I feel a lot of that pressure still here in the American church system, in America in general. You know, I'm sure it's a worldwide, complex issue which takes you away from the moment. Right, sure, does that make sense? The tension.
Speaker 3:Absolutely Right.
Speaker 2:The tension and I have felt post-COVID, during COVID, post-COVID. I was stripped of so many things during COVID and came down to the very tactic of just man, live my life in the day, Like love every moment of every day, Show love every moment of every day. Well, that's enough. I can't do that in myself. So is there a tension Like how do I attune myself and discern, Do I concern myself with my future, calling Thank?
Speaker 3:you? No, I think you're. So it's muddy. No, your question is critical and I think if I begin to feel a pressure around this, I begin to feel a pressure around this then I want to go back to our picture of God, because then somewhere there could be a default. I've got to get it right Absolutely, and I think that you know. I find it really helpful that nowhere in the New Testament are we told to get it right.
Speaker 2:We're really not Nowhere.
Speaker 3:I can't.
Speaker 2:If you find a place where Jesus says I want you to get it right. I want to find it myself. Peter, I want you to get it right.
Speaker 3:Get it right, peter. No, he didn't tell Peter that, peter, do you love me? There's something relational that as.
Speaker 3:I get to know God and as I get to know God's heartbeat, there's a sense in which I want to align myself with that heartbeat in a very organic way, and I think your emphasis on the present moment is critical. If I'm constantly worrying about, I wonder where God is calling me there, without focusing on here, I will never find myself journeying to the there that God wants me to get to. So I move from here to there.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that so well said.
Speaker 3:You know I need to be here, so I'm here now with you, and so now I'm seeking, in this moment, to be fully present to you, fully present to this moment, fully present to the spirit who's involved in this conversation. And if I'm faithful in this moment, I can trust God's goodness to take me on my next step on the journey to there. My calling, however, is to be fully present here.
Speaker 2:Yes, is it. Is it really? Is that what it is?
Speaker 3:You know, and to discern how best I can be faithful and open in this moment. Yeah, and that as I seek to live faithfully in the present moment, I can trust God to lead me on the next step along the way. You mentioned that you had an interview with Lacey Borger, who is a dear friend.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love it, I love it. So of course she is, she's amazing.
Speaker 3:And Lacey once said to me she gave me a little phrase that is so helpful. She just said to me once you know, I think it's important that we never outrun God's headlights. What? And that's such a wonderful, tell me more.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 3:You know that we just stay within God's headlights. I discern what my next step is. I'm not looking down the road around the corner into the dark, but I can stay within God's loving headlights in the present moment. And as I stay within God's headlights in the present moment, I can trust God to lead me on down the road that God wants me to take. And if I happen to take a wrong turning and I put that in inverted commas if I happen to take a wrong turn, I really can trust God to bring me back. It's not going to alter our the fact of my belovedness and I'm not talking, and I'm not talking here now. I'm not talking here about, you know, conscious willfulness where I deliberately break God's heart. I'm not talking about that at all. That's correct, that's right. God knows my heart and God knows and I can trust God's knowledge of my deep desire to live faithfully and lovingly in the present moment and God will take me down the road.
Speaker 2:He really will. I'm smiling so big Trevor, because I can't believe. You know, lacey Thinborn, I connected immediately to your spirit. You write a lot about streams that you went into to find the flow of God, like the desert, monks and mystics, and other streams where there was living water flowing. You tell a story and I'll put that in here after our conversation so everyone can enjoy that story. But we need to have those rivers of living water and you went on a search for that. After I'm thinking, dr Cliff asked you what your picture of.
Speaker 2:God was yeah. So in closing, oh, I can't believe I have really wanted to avoid those two words. You said discernment was very, very important to your heart. Why, why Trevor in all of your years of walking with our beloved.
Speaker 3:Right. You know, I have the sense that, and I don't I want this to sound like good news. You know that we have this, this unreatable, precious life given to us, and I want to embrace this life, with all its joy and pain, with all its heartache and heartbreak, its disappointments, it's successes, it's joys, and I want to live it as deeply and as faithfully as I can. And in order to live it as deeply and as faithfully as I can, it invites me to discern how best I can live my one life deeply. How best I can live my one life deeply, how best can I live my one life as fully as possible? And you know, god is not going to, as it were, dump on my head, whether I like it or not, an abundant life.
Speaker 3:There's a sense in which God wants to give me that life and God waits for my response. And my response is to just recognize each day God's calling cards. And he litters my day with calling cards. You know, trevor, I'm inviting you to respond here. I'm inviting you to respond here Moment by moment by moment, day by day by day and, just to use Lacey's words, staying within God's headlines. Okay, I don't want to waste my life.
Speaker 2:I don't want to waste my life, no, and I think when you get into this third act or whatever you want to call this, the second mountain, the third I think you find it even more valuable and precious. And yet I don't want, I call back all the time. I don't want my children 20s, 30s, 40s, anyone I know don't wait till your 60s or 70s to have this revelation. So you know, understand your spiritual identity and, in search of God's will, will help us on a deeper level, find the power of discernment right, and all the discernment exercises are there for us to spiritually practice.
Speaker 3:I hope so. I hope they were helpful, I hope they are accessible and I hope they don't feel like hard work.
Speaker 2:Well, it might, but it's okay. Hard work it pays off. It's good. Hard work is hard work. I always say that you know, is anything you know worth anything if you don't work hard for it? I'm crying Thank you for that.
Speaker 3:Thank you for that. That's the correction which which I really and maybe it gives me an opportunity just to reword it. I hope it doesn't feel like heavy work pressure.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know it may, it may require some careful thinking.
Speaker 3:Yes, it may require some effort. It will require some effort. It will, but I don't have to do the heavy lifting.
Speaker 2:You do not.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:And that, for me, was quite a revelation a few years ago. Sure, you know, get out of the way. Thank you, just get out of the way, yeah, because it is earnest work.
Speaker 3:Sure, thank you. No, I appreciate that, janelle, thank you.
Speaker 2:And not many people Take the step to go to a psychiatrist or go to a spiritual director like Lacey Finn. But those are big, brave steps and God's grace does fall when you're working with the right people. And you do tell us in the book I wanted to say that to engage in sacred conversations with trusted companions. So a lot of your message that we didn't really get to today also was about trust, and so we're just going to have to go in search of God's will and read your book fully, from front to back. Start book clubs, small groups, all the things. Trevor, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you. May you be deeply blessed for being with us today.
Speaker 3:Thank you, thanks Gina, I appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Oh, heartlifter, let's just take a collective, big, deep breath as we soak in Trevor's wisdom. With my headphones on, I have just closed my eyes so many times during my conversations with Trevor because I just think maybe that's how God's prosody, his tone of voice sounds so full of compassion, as he said Luke 15, 20,. The prodigal father's voice was so full of compassion for both of his sons. Very different circumstances, but the same presence. Both of the sons were invited into the same presence, one that was not filled with any pressure whatsoever. And I'm taking that away because that's what I need to hear is I've got to get it right. No, there's nowhere in Scripture that says Janelle, you've got to get it right. And there's nowhere in Scripture where Jesus tells us that we have to get it right, because if we study the Gospels and we watch Jesus's movements with his disciples and the people with whom he came in contact with, he's not chastising them with an authoritarian voice. He's authoritative, but he's not authoritarian and he is not shaming us and telling us you should get it right.
Speaker 2:I needed to hear that today. So I want to leave you with that question that Trevor asked us how best can I live my one life. So I ask you, how can you best live your one life? And one of the ways is to recognize the calling cards that God leaves on our paths, the calling cards that God leaves on our paths every day. So that's our job this week, our heart work. Where are the calling cards? Where are you seeing them? I love this so much. So until next week, may you be deeply aware of God's calling cards peppered all along your path.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening today. Please meet Janelle over at Heart Lift Central on Substack at Heart Lift Central, where we can keep this remarkable conversation going. Please share today's episode with a friend and invite them to become stronger every day. Heartlifter, always remember this you have value, worth and dignity.
