Today's Heartlift with Janell
Sometimes the story we tell ourselves is not really true. Sometimes the story others tell about us is not really true. On "Today's Heartlift with Janell," Author, Trauma-informed, board-certified marriage and family specialist, and Professional Heartlifter, Janell Rardon, opens conversations about how emotional health and mental fitness effects absolutely every area of our lives. When we possess and practice healthy, strong, resilient emotional health practices, life is so much better. Read Janell's newest book, "Stronger Every Day: 9 Tools for an Emotionally Healthy You."
Today's Heartlift with Janell
303. What is the State of Your Soul? Part 1
"What is the state of your soul?" asks Mindy Caliguire, the insightful author of "Ignite Your Soul: When Exhaustion, Isolation, and Burnout Light a Path to Flourishing." Together, we embark on a profound journey through the landscape of soul care, emphasizing the importance of tending to our spiritual well-being beyond salvation. Mindy shares her transformative experiences, highlighting the power of neuroplasticity in retraining the mind and nurturing the soul. With Janell's personal connection to Mindy's work, the discussion becomes a beacon for those seeking spiritual vitality amidst life's relentless trials.
Visit Mindy's website: SOUL CARE
Take the Soul Health Assessment: SOUL HEALTH
Order Mindy's new book: IGNITE YOUR SOUL
Learn more about Whisper Ranch: A PLACE TO BE
Begin Your Heartlifter's Journey:
- Visit and subscribe to Heartlift Central on Substack. This is our new online coaching center and meeting place for Heartlifters worldwide.
- Join the Advent Glimmering Hunt and download your Advent Glimmers PDF: HEARTLIFT CENTRAL
- Meet me on Instagram: @janellrardon
- Leave a review and rate the podcast: WRITE A REVIEW
- Learn more about my books and work: Janell Rardon
- Make a tax-deductible donation through Heartlift International
Thank you. Support the podcast at heartliftcentralcom. Now settle in for today's remarkable conversation with Janelle. Wherever you find yourself today, may these words help you become stronger in every way.
Speaker 2:A short reading from Ignite your Soul when exhaustion, isolation and burnoutout Light a Path to Flourishing, by Mindy Caliguire. Is it well with my soul? How is it that almost everywhere I go, the people connected to God are dying inside? They are dry, parched, withering even. But the show must go on. The work must get done. Here's what I've discovered.
Speaker 2:We are not thinking about the soul correctly. We assume that the soul is well, as the beloved hymn confirms, because we are saved. But if that's the case, why do so many of us feel like something within us is dying? It's because there's a difference between a soul being saved and a soul being well. For people like me who grew up in the church, the only time we talk about the human soul is with reference to its eternal destiny. Souls are either lost or found, saved or unsaved, and in most contexts, once we've begun a relationship with Jesus, the soul conversation is over, nothing more to talk about, the deal's been done, our soul is set. As a result, we have no imagination for the well-being of the soul, no rationale for the care of the soul, no language for what the symptoms of an unwell soul might be, and because of that, millions of devoted followers of Jesus are suffering on the inside terribly. While suffering is a part of the human condition, this side of eternity, the inner devastation, doesn't have to be. We can learn to keep our souls well-tended in the midst of any and all circumstances. How do we know this? Consider what Jesus had to say about the soul Matthew 16, verse 26,. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? Now, the answer to this famous rhetorical question is obvious Nothing. No one benefits from gaining the world if they forfeit their soul.
Speaker 2:I am beyond grateful and over the moon to have Mindy here with us today. I met Mindy through a little green square book Write for the Soul back in 1998. It was the year that I actually broke my back and transitioned, with the sale of my dance studio, into a whole new being. I had to come to know Janelle the being, not Janelle the dancer. So Mindy has been very, very important in my life for decades and to have her here is a privilege and an honor.
Speaker 2:We have a teacher with us today who is going to ignite our souls, and what a more perfect way to end 2024 and begin a new year. You must, must order this book. I will be reading much more from it and I'll be writing a lot more from it as well. Heartlifters, welcome Mindy to the show. Thank you so much for being here with your new book Ignite your Soul, holy cow. It is a book that is right on time in my life and I really want to be able to manage my emotions, because I need this book desperately, and I am sure many other women do. Welcome, welcome, big time welcome.
Speaker 3:Oh, thank you so much, janelle. I am delighted, delighted, to be with you and it's really, really fun to hear this backstory, oh my goodness, it's a backstory.
Speaker 2:I can't tell you how many retreats I took that book to. I had it on the book table not to sell but say you can buy this, you need to buy this book. This is where you start and I lived that book. I ate it, I digested it like Ezekiel.
Speaker 2:I just, it was something that I needed so desperately. And now Ignite your Soul. I sincerely think I need it even more. There's one sentence I wrote down. I'm just, I'm jumping right in. You go to page 47, and I wrote it down. You had to retrain. I'm going to write all right, I'll read it. Retrain my brain to stop responding to the deeply ingrained force of drivenness inside me. I would push toward my goal, no matter what, no matter the collateral damage. You had to retrain your brain. Which, mindy, honestly, neuroplasticity and the conversation around neuroplasticity would have just been sparking in the language of your book? Yeah, barely.
Speaker 3:And I certainly had no awareness of it. It's only been the last maybe 15 years that I've become more aware of that conversation, and so now, with those eyes, I can look back at what was happening to me at that time and realize that was what was happening. But I had no sense at that time that that is exactly what we now know and think of as neuroplasticity. That was exactly what was going on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were involved with, we know here memory consolidation. How do I do all this? Okay, so going to the very beginning of the book, since I just started a media race in the middle, the backstory you start out in 2021. I love your writing, of course, I love it. I've loved it forever. In 2021, you start the book there with a wildfire, but then you come back and go back to 1995. So I just would love to take that journey of your soul In 2021, you're teaching at a retreat?
Speaker 3:Yeah, in 2021, I was at a house in Louisville, colorado, which is just outside of Boulder. That's where we lived at the time, and we also owned some property in Boulder proper that I'm sitting in right now and I could turn around and show my camera.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'd love for you to. Are we going to see the?
Speaker 3:mountains, yeah, and you'll see the Garden of Desolation too, which I'm sure we'll be getting.
Speaker 2:Garden of Desolation too, which I'm sure we'll get it. We'll be garden of desolation.
Speaker 3:Yes, those trees over there are all burned. But yeah, this is the view from my little office here.
Speaker 2:Mindy, look at your view oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Sorry, I walked away from the microphone. I don't care, that was worth the view. You just have to watch this video oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:I always say I want to live on the water, but then you show that.
Speaker 3:I know I love the water too, but I drove up just this morning and I'm like Lord God, you have made such a beautiful world and I can't believe we get to have this little corner of it that we use for ourselves but we also use for retreat for leaders, for safe places. Yeah, it's called Whisper Ranch and it's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, I'm booking a ticket. Yes, you are. Yes, Whisper Ranch is pretty cool. Whisper Ranch.
Speaker 2:Oh my stars, is that on your site?
Speaker 3:We tuck it behind. It's not. We still have a lot of things that are under development. And yeah, it has. I think it has its own. My husband created a whole website for it. I think it's whisper whisper ranchcom, ororg.
Speaker 2:I don't know which. Well, we're church planters, are you still? You're just planting. That's what you do, right we?
Speaker 3:just start things, you just start things I understand that to somebody. I have a really high fertility rate. I think I give birth to something about every two years, and on three occasions it was a child.
Speaker 2:I feel so much better. Oh gosh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but there is a common thread I do love birthing things and I do love new visions and dreams and dreams that God just pours into your head, that in many ways you have no business dreaming. There is no version of our life, that we went from church planters in Boston barely making it Like very, very unstable financially, very skinny your teeth kind of thing, and that was fine. The Lord was in it, you know, and a lot of people who are in vocational ministry are in very similar circumstances. I totally get that and I honor it. Sometimes that's where God has you and that is where he had us for full 10 years, and my crash happened midway through those 10 years.
Speaker 2:We stayed.
Speaker 3:It wasn't like we didn't want to Abandon the ship. Yeah, yeah. But then God has taken us on some crazy, crazy journeys since then, and so now you saw that view like this is this is, this is for a ranch, and like how on earth, how on earth, so we bought it in January of 2020. So then we were just doing what we could to get going with the architects and a main house and the whole point was to create, so you built this.
Speaker 2:There was nothing on this land. There was nothing on the land.
Speaker 3:Wow, and it had really in a way, I think, been protected by the Lord for 50 years. The prior owners.
Speaker 3:There's no lack of people in Boulder County who would love to figure out what to do with 26 acres with front range views, 45 minutes from the airport. Yeah, it's nuts. It is just nuts. It's just like it should not exist. It is my dream situation. I had laid out before the Lord what we thought was needed for her to serve leaders and gatherings and that kind of stuff, and this is exactly what. I've never lived it this way, above and beyond whatever we could have asked or imagined. This is like I was hoping for this thing, and here's my little list of things.
Speaker 3:And this is like I don't know Love and beyond 10x 20x what I would have thought. There's no number of x's, it's just ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:So in any case sorry, no.
Speaker 2:I tell you what I need some hope, and I love it.
Speaker 3:Well, yes, we must always keep alert to the desires God's put in our hearts. We don't get to be demanding about them, but we intercede, we pray, we say God, have your way, may your kingdom come, your will be done. I'm available for your purposes, and I mean, you just never know where he's going to take you. That's a lot of this book, is that, even through some of the hardest, most painful, most difficult times this was true of my story back in 95. And again in 2021, when these fires came through- yeah, so that's where the book starts.
Speaker 2:The wildfires.
Speaker 3:Sorry, you're pulling me back, no you're fine.
Speaker 2:You're teaching at a retreat. You have your phone cut off. Jeff just keeps kind of. I mean because I know Mindy and Jeff. I've known you for so long. I feel like you, I should know you. It's so fun.
Speaker 1:This is like unbelievably uh delightful yes and you aren't answering your phone.
Speaker 2:He's freaking. He's probably not freaking out, Cause he's so, oh, he's probably not freaking out.
Speaker 3:Oh, he was Okay. Oh no, he was totally freaking out because he knew that there were fires in the area. I was just oblivious and in the basement of the house, but I saw the heavy wind.
Speaker 3:In fact, there's a pretty heavy wind today. There was heavy winds outside, but then, by the time my retreat was done, I went outside and took I mean I could show you my screen and show you pictures retreat was done, I went outside and took I mean I could show you my screen and show you pictures of took an Instagram story of what the winds and the skies looked like, because it looked like what it looks like in California when there's big wildfires, which I only knew from the news, I had never seen in person. And it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. And I just said, jeff, call me crazy, but I think we need to get out of here. I think we got to like because everybody was like oh, you're in a suburb, the wildfire is over there and of course they'll be able to stop it, but where the over there was was right here where I'm sitting today. It was on like our street address here is Marshall Road and it was called the Marshall Fire because it started literally down the hill from here.
Speaker 1:And burned up, yeah.
Speaker 3:Did you want to see him again? Yeah, so this is. I'll try to stay closer to the mic now. I could walk over there, but I'll lose you. Yeah, there are hundreds like that, so it goes all the way down the hill and back down that way and up above and it's thank God. There's many trees that did survive, but many, many were completely charred, completely destroyed, and, yeah, they're not, they're not so alive anymore and so you left?
Speaker 2:Did you leave your house?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Well, so up this hill are our neighbors, who we bought all this land with.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:They had a home up there and they were living in it at the time and they called 911 at one point and they were like, hey, you know, there's all these winds and smoke, what's going on? And the 911 operator said what's your address? And they told him they said get out, leave now. Don't take anything with you Go go, go, go go.
Speaker 3:And right around that time a police officer had come up all the way up their driveway and was begging them to leave. And so they did. They put their dog, a guitar and like a couple cell phones into their car and they lost everything else. Thank God they left when they did, because the fires could have engulfed their car, because it's a bit of a whiny driveway to get down. And so they and they they were just recovering from COVID, so they couldn't just go anywhere and so they called us and said, hey, can we just come over to your house? And we're like, sure, of course come. And they had turned around. They had backed around one of these roads. I'm sorry, I'm giving you the whole detail, but they had backed around and watched their home burn. Oh dear God, they went to a house or a road nearby. I mean what?
Speaker 2:does one even do? What do you even do? What do you do?
Speaker 3:So they have COVID. They are watching their whole entire house burn down.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, and they came over to our house.
Speaker 3:I'm like, what do you say to the people that are your friends?
Speaker 2:You cry, you say nothing, right.
Speaker 3:Well, yes, and you say nothing, right? Well, yes, and I'm going. Guys call me crazy, but I think we got to evacuate and at first everyone was like, oh no, we're going to be fine. I was like, and eventually I mean, maybe I made them some tea. It's like what do you? What do you make? I made them some tea sitting in our kitchen and man, it's like you can't make small talk with people who just watch their house burn down.
Speaker 2:No, no, no no no, no, and you're in fear of your own, so you're having to manage your own fear.
Speaker 3:I thought we should just get out and that there was not much of a chance. But there might be a chance that we would have lost our own home and as it turned out I think you would know from the book our house was like one house away from complete distraction. We had 1100 homes in Boulder County that were burned in a matter of I don't think 15 hours, and it just it was yeah, but then you stop right.
Speaker 2:Then you have enough knowledge to go well, why theirs and why did it stop right at ours? I mean, there's just so many layers. And you talk about it in the Garden of Desolation and grief. There's no answers to any of those why type questions?
Speaker 3:All we know is that we will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living right's correct we whether our house burns or it stands. They are just now days away from moving into the newly oh, oh, I hope you have such a big celebration.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, that'll be bittersweet, yeah, but think of all they. Yeah, the. I've had two friends with house fires that have burned to the ground and it's like I mean everything's just gone, like look at all these books, all the photos, all the keepsakes, all the treasures.
Speaker 3:Her husband Zane, Zane and Jean are their names. Beautiful beautiful friends and he writes music and he had 20 years worth of songs Gone, all the lyrics, all the music, I mean whatever's in his head. He still has, but 20 years of why he took his guitar. Yep, so they are healing, they are seeing beauty from ashes. It's truly.
Speaker 3:The house that is being built now is beyond former one has no comparison and it sounds like the end of is it the end of joel that says that the, the house, the house. Oh my gosh, I just got chills. I got to send that to them. You got to send that to them, you've got to get it printed out actually. Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah. Hold on, that's there, write it down.
Speaker 2:That's a home. Home. What's house warming? Do we want to use the word warming? No, house life giving house, my gosh yeah, a house gift. Have that on their wall for sure oh my goodness wow okay, sorry, okay, I'm done writing.
Speaker 3:Oh, no, no thank you, while we're here, live on your uh, fabulous podcast. So anyway, yes, that's what happened. This property was greatly on fire and the winds were moving and there wasn't as much like to burn here, except there was one former shed that was here.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Right where I'm sitting right now. And that's why the garden of desolation we think happened, because most of these ponderosa pine are able to take some heat, withstand some heat. The bottom will burn but the tree is still alive. But there was so much fuel from this former thing that it stayed and burned and burned and burned and that's I think, but I'm not sure. Sure, where there was more fuel there was more more damage.
Speaker 2:That's what we Well, that'll preach, that'll teach on that. I mean, here's what you write. It's so powerful. Hold on, let me get back to it, let's see, while my eyes were just on it. Well, I'll start here. Fire is a source of death and fire is a means of life. So there you have it right. We always hold things in both hands sorrow, joy, grief, joy. When it comes to our souls, the fires of life can lead us to the same diverging paths. We find ourselves beyond burnout, have been exhausted longer than we can remember. We find ourselves beyond burnout, have been exhausted longer than we can remember, feel desperately alone. The fire within can make us feel like we have nothing left, like anything alive within us has been consumed. Or we can notice the fire and choose to attend to the burning within. The flames become lanterns. You, writer you. The flames become lanterns, you, writer you.
Speaker 1:The charred ground becomes soil for new life.
Speaker 2:So hard to write, I bet, I don't know. But the flames become lanterns. That one sentence is just so good and so, okay, I'm going to light some lanterns. I have so many lanterns, I love lanterns, I'm obsessed.
Speaker 3:I think that's the invitation to us in the spiritual life that's always available is, no matter what is going on in us or around us. There is a constant invitation to attend, to pay attention. Where is God in this moment? What is he inviting me into? What? What? Yeah, I mean there are some things that you know. I'm not going to say that a neighbor's house burning to the ground, I'm not going to say some cheesy, you know I'm not going to say some cheesy. You know it was for the best, or the same of a family that loses a child, or a woman who breaks her back. I don't know the context, but these are horrific things that we don't run roughshod over with little chirpy Bible verses. Well, we used to.
Speaker 2:That's called spiritual bypassing, which I know, you know. I mean, we definitely used to do that. I was a champ at it, and if I'm not careful, if I'm not careful, I probably would still do it, you know, because it's so deeply ingrained. It's one of your questions that you offer at the end of one of the chapters. I can't remember, I think it might be chapter one but what shaped you? Well, a great deal. I mean, the Catholic Church shaped me for gosh, 21 years, and then charismatic, and then Methodist Presbyterian evangelicalism. All of these things shape us. I love that you asked that question. I think that it's a great starting point, like what shaped us. And so spiritual bypassing, for sure, we gave it a title now Psychological bypassing. You know we bypass it and just say, oh my gosh, you'll rebuild, it'll be okay. Sorry, you lost 20 years of your life.
Speaker 2:Work, no, no, no, no no, you know, mindy, I mean, okay, let's just go to this 1995 wildfire of your soul because you bring up something I've never heard of and so I always want to inform my community so that we can be learned Christ followers. And in that whole writing, in that chapter, you're in the neurology office, you're pregnant with Jonathan. You called it functional atheism.
Speaker 3:Oh my goodness, yes, I know.
Speaker 1:Isn't that the?
Speaker 3:worst. Isn't that the worst?
Speaker 1:thing.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean I, kind of have to sit back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know, I've never, heard it, so what on earth.
Speaker 2:How have I not heard?
Speaker 3:of this. It is not original with me and I remember the first time I heard it. It sent a chill down my spine. Same here I was just like what the hell, except that I could also see myself in it as soon as I heard it.
Speaker 2:Well, I want you to help us see ourselves in it, because I certainly have already read it. Maybe by the time this goes live, my readers will have read it.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's fun, yeah, but the functional atheism is, I mean, it is a real threat to the people of God and to the purposes of God in our day. I see this everywhere. I see it in myself, I see it in teams I've led, I see it in organizations I've been part of, and no one, no one, sets out to do this right. So that's partly why the phrase is so jarring is because it's so opposite what we ever would want, right?
Speaker 3:Don't you call me that. Exactly, exactly, exactly, that is. You know it's like wait what opposite what we ever would would want, right? You call me that, exactly, exactly, exactly, that is. You know, it's like wait what, what and yeah and the um. So the basic idea is in with functional atheism is that we function, operate, live our lives, do the things as though God is not a part of it, as though God is not a factor, or even the deciding factor. We function in ways that would appear to be a world without God.
Speaker 2:Oh, heartlifter, we are going to take a breath here. We're going to pause and I'm dividing this up into two parts. So we will be closing out this 2024 with part two, this 2024 with part two. I hope from the bottom of my heart that Mindy has inspired you. She has said so many things that have caused me to take a pause and later on in her book I'm going to read from page 55. It's actually from let me go back here real quick from chapter four, a page, a person and a plan Practicing attention. And I'm going to go to page 55, where Mindy talks to us about journaling.
Speaker 2:Now I spoke earlier, when I was introducing Mindy, that I actually met Mindy the writer through a little square green book called Write for your Soul, and it was 1998. I had broken my back. I had to sell my dance studio and move forward into a new, completely different world. But Mindy's little book I took it with me everywhere. I told everyone about it. This was way before social media, but Mindy had a tremendous impact in my life within the practice of journaling, spiritual journaling.
Speaker 2:She writes on page 55, the page quotes represents the invitation to reflection, usually in the inviting blank pages of a journal. Keeping a journal will help you pay careful attention to your journey. It slows your mind down to the speed of your handwriting, giving you space to ask yourself and God the deeper questions. But, honestly, who really keeps journals? Well, I do. I know I'm a writer, but you don't have to be a writer to keep a journal. With all due respect, she writes to preteen girls with diaries about their crushes.
Speaker 2:Journals offer far more depth and possibility than we often imagine. Some of the most diligent journal keepers have been explorers Marco Polo, lewis and Clark, the crew of the Bellica as it sailed farther into the Antarctic than any ship had ever gone before. Scientists keep journals of their experiments and findings to track what they have learned along the way. The New England Journal of Medicine and other scientific journals publish significant research. Today we keep pregnancy journals, scrapbooks, photo albums, even the photo book on a smartphone as a way to mark the key moments in our lives.
Speaker 2:But what role does all this remembering, all this recording of a journey have to do with ongoing spiritual development? What a great question. That is our question of this conversation. Like explorers, we are entering uncharted territory. We are entering uncharted territory the future. Here we are, we're on the threshold of another year and because our lives really do matter they really do, I add, because our observations and discoveries have value. I will also add they have worth and dignity. We would be wise to record our experiences, ideas and prayers. Writing helps us examine the course of our lives, past, present and future. Like explorers and scientists, we engage in the process of recording observations, reflecting on new understandings and considering next steps as we face our own uncharted territory of the future.
Speaker 2:Taking time to write reflectively in a journal can also help us see the truth of our own stories in a way we cannot while we're living it. Alison Fallon in her book Fallon in her book the Power of Writing it Down says writing helps us step outside of our stories and see them differently. It helps us reclaim our stories for ourselves again. I add, there's a beautiful realm of psychology called narrative therapy. So really, journaling is a huge part of narrative therapy, of stepping outside of our stories to give ourselves a different perspective and point of view. Mindy continues interestingly, as an article on Kaiser Permanent's website points out, the Journal of Experimental Psychology published research that shows how writing your thoughts down can reduce intrusive thoughts about negative events and improve working memory. Even the simple act of writing something down lets your brain know you want to remember it. That's why note-taking is such an effective practice when learning something new.
Speaker 2:I want to encourage you right now, at the close of part one, that little green book I've been telling you about is now completely and totally free on Mindy's website, soulcarecom. It's called the 21 Day Jumpstart to Journaling Reflect, connect and Build. It is so good and I can't believe that they're offering it for free. How exciting is that? So, week one, day one of 21, is gratitude for yesterday.
Speaker 2:She invites us to think back on the last 24 to 48 hours. What were some significant things that happened? Jot down a few that come to mind. No long paragraphs needed. Just recall yesterday in particular. What were the significant conversations, decisions or observations, anything you feel grateful for? If so, write about what happened and why you are grateful. And there are about five lines. That's it. So 21-day jumpstart to journaling on soulcarecom. Just download that PDF and get started, and I am going to meet you over, you know where, heartless Central, on Substack, and we are going to talk about what's inside of that beautiful guide to begin the practice of journaling. Stay tuned, heartlifters, for part two. It is so good, until next time.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening today. Please meet Janelle over at Heart Lift Central on Substack at Heart Lift Central, where we can keep this remarkable conversation going. Please share today's episode with a friend and invite them to become stronger every day. Heartlifter, always remember this you have value, worth and dignity.
