306. Inside the Big Lessons of Burnout

"It only takes one line of poetry to change your life."
-David Whyte

As we enter the new year, I reflected on the emotional journey of 2024—filled with personal milestones, like the joy of welcoming new grandchildren and the challenges of navigating our growing family dynamics. Join me as I share these experiences and unravel the wisdom gleaned from David Whyte's "Consolations 2," which presents Burnout as a call to transform our relationship with time and rediscover our true purpose. Together, let's embrace introspection and spiritual growth, contemplating the deeper reasons for our presence on earth as we enter 2025.

Treat yourself and order David Whyte's Consolations 2 here.
Visit David Whyte's site and drink in SILENCE and BEAUTY.

Chapters

• 0:19 Reflections on the Emotional Journey
• 12:09 Mothering for the Ages
• 31:33 Discovering God's Presence in Everyday Life

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:19

Thank you. Learn how you can donate and support the podcast at heartliftcentralcom. Now settle in for today's remarkable conversation with Janelle. Wherever you find yourself today, may these words help you become stronger in every way.

Speaker 2: 0:38

Hello and welcome to today's Heart Lift with Janelle. This is the first day of a brand new year. Let's just place our hand over our heart, take a big deep breath in and a big deep breath out. Ooh, heart lifter. I still have my hand over my heart because I am feeling a very deep emotional response to taping this today, knowing that we're crossing a threshold from the closing of a year to the beginning of a new one.

Speaker 2: 1:35

And as I reflect on 2024, I reflect on a deeply emotional year filled with new births of grandchildren, retirement and transition. That is what I feel as I look back on a year that I believe will be a marker year on my history timeline. So I'm just very teary. It's filled with gratitude, it's filled with remorse and regret. On some levels, there have been some hard family struggles in my own family that have made me question choices I made in the past as a mother. So it's just a big bag of mixed emotions and, as I've been writing in my journal, I have just been all over the place. So if a future grandchild or great grandchild ever finds my journal for 2024, they will see that I just have been all over the place, so many emotions and it has really caused a lot of confusion in my brain, if I'm being honest. But that kind of confusion always leads to deep prayer and questioning, introspection, reflection, and ultimately it will lead me to clarity. Yeah, it will. All the dark days, all the dark moments, all the fiercely deep moments of internal struggle, all the fiercely deep moments of internal struggle, all lead me to clarity because, you see, I'm not a quitter, I'm not a runner, even though my avoidant, insecure attachment will lead me to that. I'm not a quitter, I'm a fighter and, like Paul says, I will press toward the goal, I will press toward the higher prize of following Christ and pursuing his ways. So that is me being utterly honest. I really don't have any notes for this conversation. I wish I kind of did, but it's just been that kind of year, kind of all over the place.

Speaker 2: 4:20

And I found a bit of solace in the words of one of my favorites, david White, in his new Consolations 2, the Solace, nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, and this is my go-to. This Irish poet puts meaning around certain words that I could just never do, and this word burnout. I can't read all of it because I'd have to pay a fee. But burnout, he says, is a word that conjures a hollowed out, blackened center, now lying, due to our exhaustion, not only at the very core of our body but of our way of being. Burnout feels like a living central absence, not only of a center but the sources that used to rise from that center.

Speaker 2: 5:19

Burnout is diagnosed by exhaustion, often caused by calling on energies in work or family life that are not native to my way of being. The necessity of having had to use my will to keep going, hour after hour, day after day, of assuming goals that actually belong to other people and which I have stolen to my detriment. Burnout always involves a loss of the timeless and therefore of the ability to rest. Wow. Burnout, in a very profound way, is a loss of friendship with time itself. Oh, my gosh. A daily existence that can no longer honor the specific gifts and seasonality of the hours that guide me through the day.

Speaker 2: 6:32

Exhausted Okay, this is where I find myself. That's me talking. I no longer appreciate an early misted morning, a long, slow afternoon or the preparations for an evening gathering. Everything is in the way of everything else and everything is a barrier to my becoming. Irritation becomes my constant companion. Burnout is the experience of feeling continually out of season. Spring might as well be summer, and summer might well as be autumn and could just as well be winter. Everything becomes something to get through, but where everything also seems to be going straight through me without touching the sides.

Speaker 2: 7:35

Here is the beauty within burnout as I describe it. As I describe it, burnout's deleterious effects are always magnified by the elimination of the very thing that might save us the longing for something other than the very life that is now wearing us down. But burnout, fully realized, is also the decisive, exhausted moment in which we realize we cannot go on in the same way. Not being able to go on is always, in the end, a creative act, the threshold moment of our transformation away from physical exhaustion. Not being able to go on is the beginning of a proper relationship with the timeless and the healing possibilities of timelessness, with the timeless and the healing possibilities of timelessness. Healing ourselves from burnout always involves a reacquaintance with the eternal. My ability to experience the timeless is a parallel to my ability to rest.

Speaker 2: 9:03

Oh, my, my, my, my, my. I cannot encourage you enough to purchase Consolations 2, the Solace, nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words with Irish poet David White. I would love to have a conversation with David. In fact, I will just put that as a real, meaningful manifestation that I will ask God this year, would it ever be possible to have that man here on our show? But those words echo and whisper to me in such a way as I enter 2025. I have no definitive word of the year, no sentence for the year, no direction for the year as of yet, but I am just bringing to you my yearnings and my longing, as he says, to remember why I'm here on planet earth. Why you are here on planet earth is my invitation so that we can be more purposeful and live more meaningful lives this new year. One thing is for certain I believe in the work of this podcast as we close out 2024,.

Speaker 2: 10:37

We have now had over 105 downloads in places like Singapore, of course, the United States, canada a lot of listeners, hello Canada, hello Singapore. Canada, hello Singapore. South Africa, germany, the United Kingdom, new Zealand, japan, thailand you know I love my beloved Thailand Tanzania Hello beautiful Tanzanians. Philippines, belgium, philippines, belgium, australia, the Russian Federation, france, ireland, india, kenya my beloved Kenyans. Nepal, israel, congo, greece, czech Republic, the Netherlands, mexico, the United Arab Emirates, italy, brazil, ukraine. I can go on and on. Romania, uruguay, iceland, peru, costa Rica, norway where I want to go so badly Denmark, nigeria, the Faroe Islands you can hear me turning the pages of all of our listeners Lithuania, panama, uganda, portugal, kyrgyzstan I'm not even sure how to say that country Serbia, oh my goodness, it's just amazing, fascinating, and I couldn't be more grateful to all of you listeners. Thank you, thank you so so much.

Speaker 2: 12:09

So, as we move into this new year, one of my primary unctions is to find ways to develop this podcast. It has been completely and totally supported by my nonprofit, heart Lift International. That is my goal to continue that. So if you would be so kind, perhaps you would donate a tax deduct and support it there, either monthly or just one-time gift, or perhaps an annual gift. They are tax-deductible gifts. Every single penny of your money goes to the development of this podcast. It's reaching the ends of the world. I do not monetize this podcast other than through Heart Lift International or through Heart Lift Central on Substack. There you have a free membership or a paid membership, which has been reduced, reduced to an annual fee of $37.50. You can go to Heart Lift Central and find out all about Substack. There's a tab there for that as well. Those are the two foundational ways that I am monetizing this podcast, supporting this podcast and able to bring it to the ends of the earth. My other unction this year will be developing resources in the published manner.

Speaker 2: 14:05

I am an author, I am a writer, that is what I do. I want to give more time and effort and strategy and efficiency to authoring and that, dear heartlifter, requires deep focus. I've always traditionally published my books and I would love to continue that. But in the meantime of finding a new publisher, perhaps finding a literary agent, I would like to just self-publish those in the means of PDFs and online workshops and conferences. And, once again, that takes financial support. I used to fund myself through my work and my therapy at Heartland Practice, but I have stepped back from that. Yes, retired. Be at Heartless Practice, but I have stepped back from that yes, retired in order to give more time and energy to the work of the podcast and of authoring.

Speaker 2: 15:06

So, as we look forward, as we look forward, there were so many brilliant minds and remarkable people on the podcast in 2024. I am so deeply moved and blessed and honored and privileged to hold these remarkable conversations. One sentence out of all of the sentences of this past year and there were many, many. There was one sentence in the book Let there Be Havens an invitation to gentle hospitality, by the remarkable Liz Bell Young that really affirmed the movement forward in my own work and in the work of the podcast and of the authoring, and she wrote I believe we need to mother this world back into light, to lift one another out of the darker edges and back into this gift song of existence, one by one, because if we aren't nourished, we wilt and fight for scraps. Oh, those words. Because if we're not mothered, she's saying, if we're not nurtured, we wilt and fight for scraps. If we aren't held and guided and steadied, we eventually crumble. If we don't have safe spaces to release our burdens and share our brilliant dreams, we turn to things that were never meant to hold them. Okay, I'm going to take a pause because this sentence, or sentences in her book, let there Be Havens, really spoke to my own book project, modern Day Matriarchs, which is now evolving. It was rejected by a publisher I highly value and I have many, many of their authors on this show and I took their advice and am taking their advice to heart. I'm not sure the name of the book should be Modern Day Matriarchs.

Speaker 2: 17:50

Another guest of mine that I deeply love and hold near to my heart said Janelle, I'm not even sure I understand what it means to be a mother, let alone be a matriarch. And I said, wow, yeah, you're right, because I didn't know how to mother well, I didn't. I didn't know how to mother well, I didn't. So I wrote my first book, are into their, they're in their 30s and 40s and this year and the end of last year they brought me grandchildren. So my head is spinning and I'm thinking, yeah, I'm not sure that I even really grasp the mothering journey, let alone becoming the matriarch. So these beautiful words that Liz spoke to me and my other guests have really called me to consider giving this whole entire year you're hearing me, you're hearing me right that today's Heart Lift with Janelle will be the mothering edition 2025,. I'm giving all of my time, energy, space, work and deep focus to what it means to perhaps move from mothering to becoming the matriarch. And then that leads me to mothering for the ages. Now it could came to my heart for the ages. It came in a way where it softly landed on my heart and is now making its way to my mind and my soul, and my soul For the ages is an idiom used to describe something that is timeless, enduring and will be remembered for generations to come.

Speaker 2: 20:29

It refers to events, people or things that have made an impact on history and will continue to do so in the future. The origin here's where we take a deep breath Hand over heart, heart lifters. The origin of this idiom can be traced back to ancient times, when poets and writers would use phrases like for eternity or forevermore to describe their work. Over time, these phrases evolved into what we now know. As for the ages, it's commonly used in literature, sports, politics and other fields where a significant event or events occur. For example, a writer may describe a novel as being a masterpiece for the ages, while a sports commentator might say that a particular game was an instant classic for the ages. I just love this. The Beatles music will be remembered for the ages. Martin Luther King Jr's I have a Dream speech is a moment for the ages. Martin Luther King Jr's I have a Dream speech is a moment for the ages.

Speaker 2: 21:58

So the phrase for the ages is an idiom used for centuries to describe something that will be remembered or celebrated for a long, long time. I love that. It means for eternity. Oh, my friends, the US Dictionary writes this for the ages encapsulates I love that word the timeless essence of creations, events and achievements that transcend the limitations of their time. It reminds us of the human desire for enduring recognition and the aspiration to contribute to legacy that spans generations, in a manner that produces long lasting effects, not fleeting, not temporary, but possesses qualities that resonate across eras. It's a powerful reminder of the potential impact of our actions, creations and decisions on history, serving as a motivating force to strive for significance that resonates beyond the present moment. Wow, well, if I've come to any conclusion here at the close of 2024, in the beginning of 2025, it's this one fact that what I do, my vocational work, what I do my vocational work, which bleeds into my life, work, my family work, my generational work no-transcript use an adjective or a word like driven ambition. Yeah, it's all that. Some call it godly ambition. I just know that I want to do something significant in my family line that resonates beyond this present moment. I want a work and a life that speaks for the ages. So drum roll, please.

Speaker 2: 25:06

2025, here on today's Heart Lift is the mothering edition, mothering for the ages. Every guest, every conversation, every remarkable teaching will come down to that one motivating force that we share in this community, and that is that we, as mothers even those of us in our community that may not have birthed actual children you have a mothering call as a woman, as Liz told us. I believe we need to mother this world back to life, that each one of our lives is a safe space. We speak that here, don't we? We want to have a healthy sense of self, healthy behavior patterns and healthy, healthy, remarkable communication skills that make others, particularly those in our sphere, our family sphere, feel that they are so safe. And we know that being safe means right, feeling seen, feeling heard, feeling loved, feeling as though they belong and that they have purpose and meaning. That is what we want to bring as heart lifters into every sphere of our influence this year, and I think that I'm just going all the way back to the bottom, underlying passion in my heart, and that is to equip mothers emotionally, relationally and spiritually. Because, as wow, jim Wilder, one of my heroes right now, he brought to us the article Joy Changes Everything. And now, as I just pulled off my bookshelf again last week, Renovated God, dallas Willard and the Church that Transforms. Jim Wilder wrote that book and he speaks these words to us.

Speaker 2: 27:45

We have been trying to make clear what constitutes spiritual and emotional maturity. He writes this in chapter eight disciplines for transformation. Simply put, emotional maturity is the ability to direct feelings and desires and emotions into the service of the good. A person who can do that will not be dominated by emotions, like a child, for example, who has to have what they want. You can't count on having emotional maturity without spiritual maturity. If you have spiritual maturity, you will be emotionally mature. So if we're concerned about emotional maturity, then we will work on spiritual maturity, and I write a note on the bottom of page 129. I've been saying this now for years. This is what we are all about here.

Speaker 2: 28:56

So I want to offer to you today a beautiful exercise that Jim Wilder gives us on page 127 and 128 of his book Renovated. It's called Nine Minutes with God. As we have learned, the top podcast this year was by Trevor Hudson. What is your picture of God? Yes, so I think that resonated with many, many of us, and we have to understand that whatever our picture of God is, will inform our relationship with God. So this exercise helps us at the beginning of this year to once again revisit our picture of God, because that picture will inform our relationship with God, and our relationship with God, as you know, informs our relationship with every single person in our life. And this year we're going to dedicate how that picture of God informs our mothering. Yeah, so we're on a journey this year from mothering to matriarchy, because now I am in that position in my family, as the matriarch, and so we're going to take that journey together. I'm going to be researching and studying and working on my book project and bringing all of that to you. So here is this beautiful exercise nine minutes with God. Find somewhere quiet, take a cup of something delicious and have a journal nearby, because you're going to want to put down on paper the powerful words, those beautiful whispers you're going to hear from God. This exercise has three parts and each three minutes, so that takes us to nine minutes with God.

Speaker 2: 31:06

Take a breath, a deep breath. Let it out slowly. One. Bring to mind a time you were aware God was with you. I already have mine. It's very surprising If one does not come to mind. Ask God to help you Remember. Take your time, heart lifter. Take your time. Take your time. Pick a word or a phrase to describe God's presence. Two ask God to help you remember a time when God was with you but you were not aware of it at the time. Ask God to help you remember a time when he was with you but you were not aware of it at the time. Three notice Notice what changes as you become aware of God's presence. Pick a word or phrase to describe what changed as you became aware. Notice what changes as you become aware of God's presence. Pick a word or phrase to describe what changed as you became aware. Finding a word can be surprisingly hard to do. So take your time. This is your time. This is your time, heartlifter. May God whisper in your ear.

Speaker 1: 33:34

Happy New Year, heartlifter. Please share today's episode with a friend and invite them to become stronger every day. Heartlifter, always remember this you have value, worth and dignity.